Ray Foster is taking to the stage at La Mias in Poole tomorrow to raise money for Dorset Mind, in memory of his son Ben, who passed away last year aged 42.
In July of last year, Ben took his own life while living in Australia, leaving a profound impact on Ray and his family.
Ray said: “I cannot begin to describe the feeling… you do not expect your child to go before you, you know?
“What was even worse was that we had to get his ashes sent back home to us.”
Ben, who was born in Christchurch, was a talented cook and musician. He worked as a chef and DJ with a deep love for drum and bass music. He was also a father of two children.
Ray said: “It was such a shock because he was such a bubbly person.
“He told me, ‘I have got no friends here, Dad,’ although he was always surrounded by close friends, but I think the mental illness took over.”
Dorset Mind was a natural choice for Ray as the beneficiary of this fundraiser, not only for its mental health work but also because of Ben’s connection to the area. Ray said: “His memories are here.”
Dr Andy Mayers, patron for Dorset Mind, said: “I am so humbled to see this event take place. Losing anyone to suicide, let alone your own child, is tragic. And yet, Ray is using the positive impact of music to raise awareness and generate vital funds for us.
“Poor mental health is a leading cause of suicidal thoughts. We need to do all we can to help people stay well. But, at Dorset Mind, we cannot do that without funding. This event will help so much with that.”
For Ray, this event is about more than just raising money, he said: “The mental health side of things is that people should not bottle it up. You need to be able to talk to somebody.
“When you bottle everything up, it gets worse and worse.”
Ray will be performing alongside musicians Marie Haywood and Kev Jackson, who are playing free of charge.
Ray said: “We are going to have a great night of entertaining people and raising money… Kev and Marie are such lovely people. They are true friends.”
Following Ben’s passing, Ray initially found it difficult to return to performing. He said: “I did nothing. I did not have any inspiration. I just sat at home and worked.”
Twelve weeks after Ben’s death, Ray performed his first gig, where he was met with overwhelming support.
Ray hopes tomorrow’s event at La Mias will not only raise funds, but also spark important conversations about mental health.
He said: “Ben did get help, but it was too late for him.”
For Ray, this fundraiser is part of a larger mission to support mental health charities like Dorset Mind and ensure others have access to the resources they need.
Tickets for the event are priced at £20.
“This is for Ben,” Ray said.
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